Recently, I found myself considering the purchase of a new guitar, because my current one doesn’t sound that great and is technically a bit too big for me. A better sounding upgrade for performances, sessions etc would be awesome, I thought.
So, soon after those considerations, the way life often works, I was offered a guitar by someone around me, who had just decided to sell one of his own.
It would be a good deal for both of us. He would know that his guitar would get a loving new home at a fellow musician’s place. I would get a good price, a better guitar and the generous option to pay it off bit by bit instead of all at once, sounds good, right?
Last night he came by, guitar at the ready. Beautiful wood, just right in size for me, more quality than I ever owned. I tried it, the strings were too thick. We put on other strings, better handling for me, good sound. I asked if I could keep it for a few days and then decide about the purchase. He agreed.
And here I am, the morning after, with this guitar in my home. It implies the option good deal between acquaintances, great payment options and a reasonable price for something that is certainly an upgrade. It would make sense to purchase it, right? And also, there is that subtle “meant to be” undertone, that situations tend to have, when something, that you thought about, suddenly appears in your life.
The only problem is: I kindof like this guitar.
Let me elaborate a little bit.
At this point of my journey, I find myself dealing with the aftermath of years of poor decisions regarding material possessions and a home filled with stuff “I kindof liked”.
A few days ago, on the 21st of may 2018, I started my current decluttering
process frenzy. Even though I have downsized a lot over the past years, here I am and I can still crystal clearly identify thing after thing after thing in my home, that serves no real purpose. Oh the amount of stuff. Where did all that even come from? Thing by thing I am dealing with Items that I kindof like and items that are kindof useful…
Am I going to continue down this road, decluttering my home at regular intervals to free myself from the things I brought in, because I wasn’t deliberate in my decision making? Or, just to put it out there, will I try begin walking into a different direction for a change?
What if I was making conscious decisions about every little thing that entered my life? How would my life look? Would it be better?
Following that train of thought I can absolutely say: Hell yes, it would be better. Simpler. More spacious.
The prospect of not spending all that money (=freedom) on unnecessary things, gives me a sensation of calm and liberation. The idea of not spending time and energy on getting rid of the things later, feels like freeing myself from unwanted obligations. Ah, the beauty of that, wow. Where was that insight ten years ago? I catch myself at that thought. It’s all a process anyways. Never mind ten years ago, the insight is here now. The sad part would be not acting on what we learn, learn now.
So, dear possible new guitar, you are going back to your current owner. May you find a home where you are really celebrated and played with passion.
As for me, I will continue playing my old guitar for a while longer. Interestingly enough, I do like it better after this decision, because I feel I just made a deliberate decision for my old guitar as well.